Clocking in at work at nine in the morning means that I have to get up at seven to be in my car at eight, which means that I have to be ASLEEP by eleven the night before. And if I have to be at work at the more ridiculous hour of eight the fuck am, just roll everything back one more hour. I know it really must seem like I’m whining about this, but I am a total and complete wreck if I don’t get the prescribed amount of sleep. A real and dangerous thing to be while driving down the Taconic at 65 miles an hour (I don’t dare drive any faster than that since I recently got a speeding ticket for doing 80 in a 55. Still waiting on the determination of the fine. Then there’s the “failure to obey a traffic signal” where I spaced and drove down Decatur Street during school hours. You’re not allowed to do that. Fuck a duck.) and I’m dozing off. Chin to chest dozing off. I’ve made an attempt to stave this off by one, GOING TO BED WHEN I’M GODDAMNED SUPPOSED TO, and two, making coffee in the morning. Except this morning when I was so freaking tired that I forgot to put the filter in, thus ruining a perfectly good cup of Green Mountain Hazelnut Coffee. So, this evening after a delicious dinner of chicken and shrimp fried rice, I carefully measured out four teaspoons of ground coffee into the filter, put the filter into the coffeemaker, and filled the chamber with four cups’ worth of water. That makes about two mugs’ worth of coffee. So I’m all set for another early morning. Except I looked at both my Filofax and the photocopied schedule (not believing the first) to find that I’m not due in to work until one pm tomorrow.
The absence of Geodon in my system when I’m due for another dose makes me really fuzzy-brained , and it’s hard to shake off. I’m considering asking my boss if I can work a midday shift, say, 11 – 7 or 12 – 8, instead of opening. Closing shifts are fine too, but I’m thinking ahead to December when I won’t be able to park my car on the street in front of my house through April (we don’t have a driveway to park in, and nearly enough frontage to build one, but not quite without looking horrific), and will instead have to park two blocks away in the (albeit covered) municipal garage. I DON’T LIKE WALKING ALONE AT NIGHT. Okay? I’m a pussy. Even though the police station is across the street from said garage, it’s still two long, cold blocks after ten at night.
Here’s my question: How do I ask for a midday shift without bringing up my illness? It’s the medication that makes it imperative for me to get what some might consider to be an awful lot of sleep, but for me, it’s a life or death thing. I simply haven’t been myself this past week, what with the reduction of the Wellbutrin, killer PMS, and early hour upon early hour, and I fear that it’s reflecting very poorly on me. I’m not thinking straight, I’m making stupid mistakes, and I know that I’m a much better person that what’s coming across. Any suggestions?
